March 27th, 2004

dreadhawk

saturdaaaay

today at work, we threw an "island-style" party for our top clients. my awesome boss never wants people to go hungry, & so we had food for approximately two & a half times the number of people who showed, & i easily saw two hundred today. anyhow, my fridge is now packed full of really incredible food: fruit kabobs (honeydew, papaya, kiwi, cantaloupe, & strawberries), black beans & rice (with almonds, golden raisins, & "tropical seasonings"), pecan encrusted chicken salad (with romaine, celery hearts, dried cranberries, & mandarin oranges), & shrimp skewers we barbecued behind the building on a giant rented grill (with colorful roasted peppers & pineapple). i managed to avoid having to bring home an entire key lime pie - we had six left over.

my job rules.

anyhow. the other day, i helped my insane next-door neighbor "fix" her new computer (meaning i showed her how to enable *70 with her awful horrid inescapable aol account so call waiting wouldn't cut her offline) & she loaned me two dvds. she is a single mom & i've never seen her with a guy. both movies had semi-graphic scenes of female masturbation. (you do the math.) anyhow, for those who haven't seen it yet, RENT "SECRETARY" IMMEDIATELY, POSTHASTE, & FORTHWITH. or come over & i will gladly & gleefully watch it another hundred times with you.

so, does anyone else realize that in the verizon commercial where the dad is tossing phones to his kids & proclaiming "you're in", it sounds exactly like he's saying "urine"? 'cause i think that's great.

HERE YOU GO, KIDS. URINE.

btw, if you fit into a 2 or 4 & want to buy some clothes, or if you're any size & want hair dye in reds, click here. i'm totally open to trade.
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    violent femmes, "kiss off"