November 3rd, 2004

dreadhawk

bummer about the election. suck it up. moving on...

tom found this: http://www.castlesupplys.com/newframe/urinatingpstring.htm

OMG. my favorite part:

To prolong the life of these products, after wearing, clean thoroughly with soap and water, dry thoroughly overnight, powder and store in a cool, dark area. If the product is going to be worn for an extended period of time (over 3-4 hours), it is recommended that it be powdered with talcum powder periodically to keep it dry. The product should be cleaned after every use.

this basically means PRETEND YOU'RE A GUY & HAVE A GRAND OL' TIME PEEING THROUGH YOUR FAKE PEEDU, BUT THEN IMMEDIATELY TAKE IT OFF, SOAP IT, RINSE IT, DRY IT OVERNIGHT, POWDER IT, & PUT IT IN THE BOTTOM OF YOUR CLOSET. how very realistic it must feel! you know, since this is the exact same care a real guy gives his dongle.

& boy howdy is florida getting a kick out of me in the new tiny lishcar. i'm accustomed to receiving & being generally indifferent to stares, but for some reason, people are interpreting lish-in-miata as THING TO BEEP & WAVE AT. people are so much more FRIENDLY when they see me screaming along to high-volume, high-energy cds in a tiny convertible as opposed to a corolla with the windows down. i'm stumped - if anyone can explain this phenomenon, i'd appreciate it. in the meantime, i keep checking craigslist's "missed connections", fully expecting to read a post from some horrible mutant who wants to be my copilot. SORRY, FELLAS, FATTIES WON'T FIT IN THIS CAR.

also: yes, i did go trick-or-treating. it was SO much more fun than when i was little. i went with a couple of twenty-two year old friends, & i told every house that we were all eight years old & had just aged badly. it seems that if you make middle-aged housewives giggle a little (in a non-sexual way; or hell, either would probably work equally well), they don't seem to mind giving candy to people who are perfectly able to purchase candy themselves. i thanked everybody for humoring us. we were out for about an hour, & here is a picture of the take. not bad, huh. my favorite item isn't pictured, though... apparently, some dad got smart & said to himself, "well, if i have to give candy to adults, i'm at least going to get a little advertising out of it," as we each got a business card worth a 10% discount on car window tinting. tempting.

you have eighteen days to prepare for my birthday.