lish (lishd) wrote,
lish
lishd

joe's birthday 2008

for those new or lazy, read about last year's present first. there's a direct tie-in to this year's present. (<- look, foreshadowing!)

so, once again i've been torturing him for months. i kept saying i have a present this year that MAY JUST RIVAL the awesomeness of last year's. & several months ago, i wrapped it & put it in the hall closet, right where he can see the box, right at eye level, high enough that he'd never have an excuse to touch or move it. i let him lift it the morning of his birthday, but nothing more.

the guest list changed about a hundred times as people flaked, then decided to show, brought friends, overslept, et cetera, but we wound up at the pike that night with sic737, liquordrums, toddv & beastule, 3ricj & amy, eric & adam, & of course me & joe. we held off the present-opening until jessie arrived after work at about ten thirty, as we had to, since she had played a huge role in this surprise.

i wore my new skull plugs which i bought specifically for joe (well, they're only "for him" in quotation marks, since they'd be in MY ears, but they sure are kickass & he adores looking at them), & i made everyone without a present kick in money so joe wouldn't have to pay for anything he consumed. we all ate tasty grass-fed burgers & he drank a bunch of kiltlifters, which i actually don't mind since they make his breath smell like strawberries somehow. & finally, jessie showed up, & the opening began.

so i told joe that as he opens, he's going to need to pause for a story. he got the paper off, slit the duct tape holding the box shut, then sat back, grinned, & swore at me. what was he looking at, you ask? allow me to explain.

the day joe & i first met, he came over so i could do maintenance & a dye job on his dreads - those pics of him blonde are before anything ever happened between us. anyhow, it was a weeknight, & i had work the next day. the hair stuff ran long, & by the time i was done putting dye on his head, it was around 2am. he'd missed his last bus, but as i was new to the area, i didn't know it'd only take him twenty minutes or so to stomp home. i offered to let him stay over, & his male side immediately agreed to sleep in some random hot chick's bed.

since we'd just met, & joe's pants were covered in chains & spikes & other lumpy nonsense, & because i ain't easy like yo' momma, i offered him something to sleep in. now, most of you know i barely weigh a hundred pounds, but i'm trying to find something of mine to clothe this 6' mountain boy who has large amounts of muscle. i had some boxers but doubted his thighs would fit in them... & then i realized that my recent purchase from ebay would suit perfectly - flannel pajama bottoms patterned with ponies. i figured they'd fit because they were huge on me, & i'd been intending to hem them much smaller but hadn't yet had time. so this big tough strapping metalhead guy with blue & green dye in his dreadlocks has not only been dressed in aluminum foil & a showercap, so the dye doesn't get all over the place, but is now being asked to put on flannel ponypants.

he looked somewhat aghast, but grudgingly accepted, & stepped into the bathroom to change. in the bathroom, picture a muscular graver type taking off his hardcore black trippwear with chains & studs & whatnot, & pulling on a soft pair of red flannel pajama bottoms with ponies on them. ironically, they fit perfectly. the only thing going through his mind is, "you must tell her she is not to take pictures of this. no pictures can be taken of this. i will not be photographed wearing ponypants. no pictures." & he turns the doorknob & opens the door & begins to say, "DON'T TAKE ANY PICTURES", but only manages to get out the "DO-" part of the sentence before a flashbulb goes off.

i was sitting on the step to the bedroom with my camera, directly opposite the bathroom door, just waiting for it to open. talk about a loophole. he couldn't ask me to delete the picture because he hadn't actually asked me not to take it. SCORE! i did, however, promise not to show it to anyone without his permission, & i have stuck by that. so don't ask for the pic of him in them, but i CAN provide you a pic of the pants themselves!

anyhow, back to his birthday.

ok, recall how last year i said there were two gouache watercolors, & i bought the black one because the white one was sold before i arrived? well, as i explained at the party, joe loved the black painting so much that i went hunting at the art gallery to try to track down the white one to purchase from the buyer, & i finally was able to contact them, & we struck a deal for me to acquire it... & fortunately this was all really easy since the original buyer was me.

THAT'S RIGHT, BITCHES. I WIN AT BIRTHDAY!

i bought it at the same time as the other one. so THIS one i've been hiding for a YEAR & five months, & still, only jessie knew. as she noted, it amazed her that i was preparing for TWO birthdays for a guy i'd just met a couple months previous, but then again, he DID get us a very special valentine's day present... so he was clearly pretty long-haul about things, too. heh.

i specifically told joe that next year's present isn't going to be nearly as epic. i only have two of them, i promise. :D he said this surprise definitely beat last year, & couldn't stop going on about it the whole way home. i reminded him that he'd originally said he liked the black one more, but would choose to live with the white one longterm - he agreed & said that's because the black one is insanity, & the white one is sanity. well, for your second year with me, allow me to give you some well-deserved sanity.

i hung the painting for him a few minutes ago, next to the other one beside his computer desk. he said the first one represented how much i love him, but the second one represents how awesome *i* am, & now he'll be sitting next to a constant reminder of how much i rock. can't say i have any problem with that. :D

happy birthday, babe!

(edit: what he had to say about it.)
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